Best damn burger joint in San Diego

I've been wanting to go to Hodad's for quite some time now. Ever since I saw it on Guy Fieri's "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" I've been wanting to try it. For some reason (I hate OB parking) I've just never gotten over there. When Lupe got home this evening she was hungry and wanted something to eat. I wanted to oblige her, but all the proteins in the house were frozen in the icebox. What to do? Go to Hodad's. Good answer.

Hodad's is exactly what you're looking for in a great burger joint; small, loud, crazy eclectic surroundings and crowded with people gettin' their grub on. We had to stand in line outside for about 30 minutes waiting for a seat. It was well worth the wait. We had plenty of time to stare at the awesome burgers making their way out of the kitchen. For a time it looked like Lupe and I would be in the VW bus booth, but they cleared a spot on the big communal surf board table first. Fortunately, we got seats at the end of the table. Being our first visit to Hodad's, Lupe and I went big. She had a single bacon cheeseburger and fries and I got the double bacon cheeseburger with a half order of onion rings. We also shared a vanilla shake. The shake came first. We probably could have had the shake and left satisfied. That was best damn shake I've ever had. There was a giant, face-sized scoop of ice cream perched precariously on the top of the cup. We had to eat that in a hurry to keep it from melting all over the table. Melting disaster averted, we set the shake aside as the onion rings arrived. I thought a half order would be something other than a ridiculously large heaping basket of rings with ranch dressing. Stupid me. They were perfect onion rings. The onions were sweet and large and were perfectly cooked; soft, but still with some texture. The breading was also perfect; not too thick, not too thin and not at all oily. By the time were had finished the onion rings we both realized that we had just had a completely filling and fantastic meal. With more than a little alarm I started to think about the burger to come. I had been watching these towering meat masterpieces fly out of the kitchen for almost an hour. I knew they were going to be big. I tried to mentally prepare myself for the upcoming challenge. Like that skinny, little Japanese guy that always wins the Coney Island hot dog eating competition, I knew I had to psych myself up for the challenge. I kept telling myself that I had been stranded on a dessert island for five weeks with nothing to eat. I tried to mentally picture my stomach blissfully empty. I was still working on my little mind game when our server calls out, "Who had the double bacon cheeseburger?" Snapped back into reality, my eyes tried to focus on what he was holding just inches from my face. IT WAS TOO BIG! I couldn't make out the entire burger. The leading edge was fuzzy and the rest just disappeared off into the distance. I tried to look up high enough to see the top bun, but I got a crick in my neck. Oh shit! This ain't gonna end well. I mean, its a burger. I can't pass up a burger. And there's no way I'm going to walk out without eating the whole thing. I'm a guy and we don't do that sort of thing. All I could do was loosen the drawstring on my elastic-waist shorts (at least I planned ahead), dig in and hope for the best.

Hodad's make a helluva burger (didn't Rick James say something like that?) It is just the perfect example of a good old-fashioned burger. Good bun, just the right amount of shredded lettuce, fantastic pickle slices and onions and just enough dressing to make it juicy, but not detract from the flavor of the meat. Burgery goodness is the only way I can describe it. I've made better burgers (the meat and cheese part), but never the complete package like this. This was just the perfect assemblage of meat, bun, cheese and produce. One very nice touch is that the burger patties were not overcooked as you find at most restaurants. Mine were a lovely pink in the middle; just the way I make mine at home. Oh man, burger nirvana. After the first bite I forgot that I really wasn't that hungry. I knew I was going to finish every last bite of that bad boy. Slow and steady wins the race....and gets the burger down. Still, the first bite was a little intimidating. I knew it was going to be messy. When I brought the burger to my mouth I couldn't see the top bun and the bottom bun seemed to be somewhere down by my neck. I squeezed it together as much as I dared, opened wide and took a chomp. I was rewarded with, not only a mouthful of tasty burger, but a new design on my Hawaiian shirt. Oh well. I got that out of the way quickly. Now I can concentrate on eating this behemoth without worrying about dripping on myself anymore. I had a stack of napkins close at hand. After each bite I had to wipe off my chin (and neck and face and hands......). That how a burger should be eaten. Carl's Jr. ad agency has done some screwy ad campaigns (featuring Miss Wonk Eye, Miss Wonk Ass and Miss Wonk Boobs) over the last few years, but they at least got the slogan right: "If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face."

I can't believe that Lupe actually finished her burger too. When Lupe is too full to finish a meal, she has no problem asking for a doggy bag. That she actually finished her burger is a testament to just how good they were. Now that's some dedication.

Lesson learned:
1. Hodad's is the best damn burger joint in San Diego.
2. Hodad's is the best burger joint I've ever eaten at.
3. Next time I'll do without the bacon on the burger. It is like adding an extra meat patty to an already enormous burger. I liked the taste, but the straight cheeseburger would have been just fine.
4. Next time we don't order fries with the burger. A half order of onion rings or fries would definitely be enough.
5. Next time I go there I will fast for at least two days ahead of time.